Parker (BB9) Blog on the BB10 HG's

Saturday, August 16, 2008


What you’ve been waiting for... My thoughts on BB10 Houseguests...
Current mood: crunk

wow, i didn't realize how many people cared about my blogs. i've been getting hella messages about when i was going to post my next one and where the hell have i been. it's been forever and a day since i've written a blog. sorry folks, i needed a well deserved break from myspace. had to get focused. i'm still not fully back, but i felt it was necessary to write a blog today.

soooooo anywho, first, i hope all is well with you and i hope you guys are enjoying the new season of big brother 10. this is the first season ever that i have watched. hell, i still have yet to see the rest of my season. but anyways, it's cool to watch more people go through the same thing that i went through. since i don't have tv, these houseguests have kept me entertained on the live 24/7 feeds. (bb alum gets them for free.) so it's like a 24/7 marathon in my apartment.

lots of you have asked my opinion on the houseguests this season. i'm sure a lot of you have seen me in chat rooms, expressing my opinions about them all. it's been fun chatting with you all. oh, before we get started, can someone please spread the word that

I NO LONGER WORK FOR TMZ!!!! I REPEAT, I NO LONGER WORK FOR TMZ!!!! you'd be surprised how many times i get asked that. post it on blogs, do whatever needs to be done to get the word out!! hell, i don't even do the paparazzi stuff anymore. i'm over it and so should you...

ok, now back to our regularly scheduled program....

so, you wanna know what i think about this season's houseguests? huh? can you handle it? well i'll tell you what i think. let's start from the 1st evictees:

brian:
when i first saw brian, i was like, "look at this rob lowe lookin ass motha****" lol, and i really thought he was gonna be the "new age dr. will". boy was i wrong!! however, brian was funny as hell in the house. that puppet show was classic! i was bummed when he was the first to be booted but somebody had to be first. i think he just made a not so wise decision which sealed his fate. he would have been better off writing bounced checks in the bb house! so now i can pass the torch of "bb's worst player" to brian! lol!! congrats brian! you made it!

steven:
this guy really rubbed me the wrong way at first. i really thought he was a racist son of a bitch. i thought this because of the whole texas cowboy thing, calling angie "oriental" (oriental is food and rugs, not people), and calling libra "colored", and asking someone, "i wonder if black people get hotter in the sun because they're black?". ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?! i was blown away by that. but then i had to step back and think for a second... so i came to the conclusion that steven was just ignorant and needed to be educated. once i got pass that, steven was cool and funny in my book. i mean come on, you can't be GAY AND RACIST...it just doesn't work... it's like paris hilton shopping at the 99 cent store. it just doesn't happen.

angie:
my early fav!! this girl was on point! i mean damn! BB's finest right there!! (let's take a moment and reflect on how hot angie was) ......................................................................................................................................

ok, we shall continue...
in addition to her sexiness, i really liked angie. she was very chill. not catty like those other girls (minus renny). she didn't kiss anyone's ass and kept it real the whole time. i liked the fact that she was there mostly to have fun. she would have lasted longer if the other ATM (attached to makeup) girl didn't hate on her for being the showstopper in the house. however, angie loses 5 points for smoking cigs. not hot angie!! not hot at all!! but you're still fine. call me!

jessie:
lol!!! now this guy is off the chain... i really didn't like jessie at the beginning. i wasn't diggin how he treated renny. i thought he had a degree in douchebaggery. but you know what... HE KEPT IT REAL!! and i can definitely respect that. i know most folks probably think he's arrogant, but i think that's just the way he is. i don't think people gave him a fair chance because of his physical appearance. i'm guilty of that as well. i'd be like, "who does this mf think he is?" it's funny, i actually did see him performing exercises in one of those muscle & fitness mags while i was waiting to see my agent. i was like, "look at this mf"... yeah, he can come off as a prick, but i think he probably does more good than harm. before his eviction, i started to see the funny side of him. he had me rollin' when he did the libra sock puppet. that was priceless.

libra:
when i first saw libra, i was like, "please lord, don't let her be the ABW (angry black woman). and at first she wasn't. however, she was SOOOOOO FREAKIN COCKY!! i mean damn woman!!! it still amazes me how she could leave her babies for a long time like that... but, to each it's own. she's being judged enough without me adding my 2 cents. i wasn't a fan of libra. however, she was good drama!! and i think she's a good bb player. i really wanted her to stay over keesha because i would have loved to see her get hoh that week! that house would have been in turmoil. you know what, people might say shitty comments about her taking the hawaiian holiday vacation away from michelle versus getting a letter from home, but you know what libra.... i would have done the same thing! i mean damn, you know your kids are taken care of and if anything were to happen to them, you'd be the first to know. so i think you did the right thing by taking the vacation. if you would have gotten hoh, then you would have gotten the letter anyways. have a little common sense people! let's see the logic here... hmmmm.... hawaiian holiday that i can go on with my spouse and pay a little bit more for my kids too...... or...... a stinkin letter... screw that!! you made the right decision libra so f*** what everyone else is talking about!

keesha:
a little downgraded BB8 Dani. i mean, she's attractive but you all know how i feel about blonde hair... i'm mad she lied about her age!! i mean who gives a damn if you're 30?? you look great! and even when the crowe's feet start to form and your ass begins to drag, i'm sure JJ will fund you a quick fix er up! a little nip here, and a little tuck there, and before you know it, you'll be just like cher! so don't sweat the 30's... you're gonna be fine. overall, i think she's a nice person. very true to her word and that's what's up. her laugh makes me laugh and i love the fact that she will get in somebody's face when need be. RIDE OR DIE KEESHA!! HELL YEAH!

memphis:
this guy ain't even from memphis.... when i first saw memphis, the first person who popped in my head was RYAN!! i was like damn, another ryan... lol. i really found him to be rather boring at the beginning. then he started to loosen up and he's pretty funny also. after watching, i'm sure he's pretty fun to hang out with. i love how he got bout it on jerry!!! LOL!!! that was the best ever!! this guy was lookin like he was about to do some WWE wrestling moves on grandpa. i was really hoping jerry would have called him that again, just to see what he would have done. you really can't say anything bad about memphis. it's just not appropriate. ha ha.

michelle:
*sigh* i really want michelle in f2. she is definitely one of my favs. i love her!!! she's funny as hell. her mouth is filthy!! i love it!! she drops the f*bomb like every other word. curses more than a sailor on a hot day in the sun with no air conditioning. i love it!! it's just something about michelle that screams, "f*** the world!! this is me, take it or leave it!" hell yeah michelle! you got my vote. i would definitely hang out with a girl like michelle, i think she'd be a blast. good luck michelle!

dan:
ok, dan seems like a very nice guy. however, i'd rather watch paint dry than watch dan. he's definitely the "sharon" of the house. i really hate how he uses his job as an excuse not to answer certain questions. i mean damn, don't come on the show if you're gonna be that much of a prude. it just seems like amish people are more unrestrained than dan. i really don't want him to go yet, but i wish somebody would nominate that white button-up shirt he has (you know, the one he wears with the open collar and the cuffs folded up with his hair greased) for eviction. all he needs is some techno music and a cosmopolitan. this ain't "night at the Roxbury". get it together.

jerry:
jerry jerry jerry.... i'm really disappointed in jerry's performance. you'd think a man with a little mileage under his belt would have a little couth about himself. WRONG! this guy is worse than the women! always picking fights, and gossiping. and will someone please give this man some HAND SANITIZER!! i'll bet you can count on one hand how many times he's washed his hands after using the bathroom. and then he has the NERVE to ask people if they want him to make them a steak!!! to you jerry, i say not no, but HELL NO!! what do these people look like eating a piss saturated steak? you've gotta be kidding me! kill yo self!

apollie (april and ollie):
it's only appropriate that they both share the same paragraph. i mean, you'd think ollie was a walking enema as much as he's stuck up april's ass. these two took "showmance" to a whole different level. i can't believe how much f***ing these two did. i mean, have some decency about yourselves. and if you don't have it for yourselves, why would you go on television and the internet and embarrass your parents like that? weren't you both raised better than that? not really diggin ollie too much. i really wish he had a mind of his own in this game. it sucks that he's got this blonde tumor on his side, gnawing away at his life in the house. so he's pretty much a "yes man" and it's screwing his game up. i'm really surprised at him having sex on the internet like he is. yeah he's a preacher's son and he says that doesn't make him a prude, but he's not taking his father's role as a preacher to a congregation seriously and that's pretty sad. imagine the looks his family gets on sundays. AND APRIL'S NOT EVEN HOT FOR F**K'S SAKE! i mean, without makeup, april looks a HOT MESS baked on an adobe rock in the scorching suns of arizona for 12 hours, then broiled in the oven for 6 hours, and then thrown in a fire pit. so i guess it's safe to say that she looks a "CHARRED" MESS. she kind of reminds me of a recovering meth addidict. i think she's the most "made-up" girl in the house. hell, renny's 50 and she looks waaaay better without makeup. no wonder why april wears so much. she kind of reminds me of that movie "Powder", you remember the bald, pale guy who's mother was struck by lightning when she was preggers with him? yeah, that guy... speaking of preggers, wouldn't that be a shame if ollie got her pregnant while they were in the house? i really don't think these two are thinking logically. everyone knows they've had unprotected sex numerous times. april's famous line, "cum on me" shall be deemed a classic! i remember one time they were bumpin uglies and jerry was in the room and he heard everything. how could you stoop so low? that's like having sex in a nursing home and one of the bed patients watched! i mean really? are you both that hot for each other after knowing each other for a couple of weeks? kill yo selves! hats off to both of you guys and your WHOREable antics! cheers to that! so if you can't tell, i'm not really a fan of apollie. separate, i'd still not dig april, but i'm sure ollie has some redeeming qualities. the only job that april is good at is being fake. i really can't wait to see her go. ollie, it's your game when she leaves! get her out of there so you can think with the head on your shoulders. america feels cheated on you not showing us who you are ollie because you're too busy gettin the GOUT from miss pale ale 2008! get it together!

renny:
had to save the best for last. i really like renny! i think she's the realist person in the house. i love the fact that she doesn't give a F*CK! i'll bet any amount of money she was freakin hot back in her day!! i mean look at the woman, she's pretty! april looks more aged than renny. she's funny as hell and her cackle laugh makes me laugh. she's a riot. she has one of the best personalities in the house and i really hope she's in my f2 as well. good luck renny! i'm rootin for you!


well, that's about it. i'm still curious about the middle picture frame on the memory wall. i think it might be a live feed of april's unborn child! lol! how crazy would that be? anywho, thanks for reading and all kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.

hope this blog was worth the wait. sorry it's so long!

thanks for reading.
parker

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