Big Brother w/ Marcellas: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

"Stupid is as stupid does." Forrest Gump uttered one of the most famous lines in recent movie history. This week on Big Brother 10 a lot of stupid things were done and a whole lot more were said. Now I am not one to call the House Guests stupid. I know what it's like to be there. I know what it's like to make a mistake... To do something that at the time seemed so smart or kind or just, only to have it blow up in your face and to have to deal with the aftermath for years to come. Yes, I'm the guy who didn't use the veto.

I had the power to save myself and didn't take it. I trusted the wrong people. And I paid for it with my shot at $500,000. I would have won Big Brother 3 had I made it to the end. The only person left who may have beat me was Jason. And I never would have allowed him to get to the end.

That's the thing about having played Big Brother. As you watch season after season, you can not help reliving everything you experienced. Good or bad. Happy or sad. And even the painful. Watching Ollie get played last week actually reminded me of getting used and discarded during Big Brother 3. You invest so much in believing the other contestants. You want to believe in someone. Even when you know you shouldn't. It's almost like being in love. You want to believe "they" are the one that you can trust—that you should put the other first. Most often that's a sucker bet.

Now I'm not saying Ollie is guilt free. He hasn't been a good player, a loyal friend, or even a strategist. Ollie from day one was a weasel. Let's not forget that he made a deal with Brian and Dan the very first week and then threw them both under the bus. Brian was evicted because Ollie gave him up to the entire house. All for the benefit of his showmance with April. A woman is a lousy reason to toss away $500,000. Ollie played himself into a position where even if he was lucky enough to make it to the end, he couldn't have won.

The title of this article is a quote. This week the cast of Big Brother uttered some doozies! Especially poor, not so smart where Big Brother is concerned, Ollie. Wow, I'm trying really hard to not call that boy stupid. Though I shouldn't bother because if you have the live feeds or Big Brother: After Dark you know Ollie has unleashed an ugly homophobic tirade against Dan, the producers and anyone within earshot. Do these people not realize that the cameras and microphones are working? Even in anger there are some lines you don't cross. The "F bomb" should be one. Though if you watched Ollie's pre-show interviews you know he has very ignorant views on homosexuality.

But onward to quotes:

"As far as I'm concerned my HoH reign was a success." - Renny

Um mm... Renny all you did was abuse the power of your position and show everyone in the game your cards. Renny hates Memphis and is jealous of his relationship to Keesha. And she can't keep her disdain quiet. Now Keesha and Dan both know that they need to get rid of Renny to keep Memphis safe. And if the choice came down to keep Memphis or Renny, they would keep Memphis. Not because it's smart (it isn't) but because as Dan said about Renny, "She's crazy, she's recluse, she's a wildcard." I think Dan meant reckless but we'll give him a pass. Crazy and wacky grates on the nerves after a while. You don't want to live with it.

"I'm distraught. To see her go it hurts tremendously and I'm distraught at this point." - Ollie re April's eviction.

No Ollie, you're a bitch. Now that the man in that relationship is gone whose skirts you gonna hide behind. Which brings us to Michelle:

"I could be in jeopardy of being put up." - Michelle

Gee... Do you think? Michelle has no alliances in the house and when she does decide to make an alliance it's usually with someone everyone hates (Jerry/Ollie) or fears (Jessie). If I was giving Michelle relationship advice (which I've been known to do) I'd say, Girl your picker is broken. You need to make better choices.

"I don't really know how Ollie is gonna do without April. I've never really seen Ollie without April." - Keesha

None of the viewers have either.

"I don't think I've performed up to par to this point in the game." - Ollie

"No! You? Not you Ollie? Really? I'm shocked you would say something like that." - Marcellas

Okay I'm clowning Ollie a bit. I don't like Ollie as a player and from the things he's said maybe not as a person. I am however open to meeting this brother and seeing what's real.

"This HoH competition is basically do or die for me. It's still me against the rest of the house." - Ollie

This week, the Head of Household competition was an endurance challenge and one of the greatest competitions ever. The House Guests had to hang from a vine, being raised and lowered, while being swung into a padded wall, while being doused in rain. The House Guests were sitting on these tiny discs while holding on to the vine. It looked painful and uncomfortable especially for the men. And their boys.

Of course, Jerry was first out, with the girls, Keesha and Michelle dropping not too long after. As you know, my dearest Memphis got back, but he stuck it out for 3 hours and 19 minutes. Ah... Memphis had a sore butt and I wanna see it. It finally came down to Dan and Ollie. I was stunned. Ollie actually stepped up to the plate and was playing the game. Maybe April leaving was just what Ollie needed to focus? Well I thought too soon...

"What do you want? I promise you aren't going up?" - Dan to Ollie

Here is where a true Big Brother star is born. And Ollie is made a fool off royally. Dan, in true Mafioso form, makes Ollie a deal he can't refuse. But Ollie tries. Dan offers Ollie one of the slots for eviction nomination. Ollie realizes he needs to win this HoH as he has no alliances in the house passes. Dan then offers Ollie keeping another House Guest safe. Again Ollie passes.

Could Ollie's balls have dropped? Maybe they are sprouting hair? Ollie wants to win this HoH! Dan then counters with the coup de grâce; if the veto is used Dan will allow Ollie to pick the replacement nominee! Dan basically gives Ollie his HoH. Now here is where Ollie lost the game; he took the deal. In one of the dumbest moves in Big Brother history, Ollie took the deal. And Ollie's conditions? Michelle is safe and Memphis is nominated for eviction.

"Whoa big head, moon faced boy." - Marcellas

I draw the line at putting my chunky, love monkey Memphis on the block. But don't worry, Dan has a plan of his own. When the nomination ceremony goes down Jerry and Memphis are put up for eviction. And Memphis is pissed. He even goes as far as not shaking Dan's hand after. Dan has some explaining to do.

"I think Dan's plan is crap." - Memphis

"What the hell were you smoking when you were up there?" - Memphis to Dan about the deal with Ollie

Dan's plan was crap. It was a risk. When you are in an alliance with someone, you do not under any circumstances put them up. Period. In order to save Memphis, the veto had to be won by someone who would use it on Memphis. And then Dan would have to put up whomever Ollie choses. Or does he?

"I made a deal with Ollie that's too good to be true." - Dan

"I get to call the shots but at the same time my hands are clean." - Ollie

"I'm gonna have to take this game into my own hands." - Memphis

"In no way Ollie am I gonna send home someone from my own alliance to appease you. You're dumb for believing it." - Dan

In a Power of Veto challenge, the House Guests enter a backyard redone as a moonscape dressed like astronauts. They must propel themselves across a wire, grab pieces of a puzzle, one at a time, propel themselves back, and put the puzzle together creating an image of the Veto. Honestly this competition was cool.

The only thing I didn't like about it was Dan and Memphis were wearing space suits. Why couldn't they compete in speedos?

Memphis in a speedo. I blush at the thought. And skinny lil Dan is sporting a cute set of abs under that ridiculous TAKEN tee his "girlfriend" sent him. Dan would be cute in a speedo! Though that would have meant Jerry would have been in a speedo too and I just threw up a lot in my mouth. Perish the thought.

Memphis wins the Veto! Much to the chagrin of Jerry, Michelle and Ollie. Well maybe Jerry didn't care because I don't even know if he realizes where he is. Once safely inside the HoH bedroom, Dan and Memphis jump into each other's arms in celebration. It's full-on boy-on-boy celebration, replete with Dan jumping up and down on the bed. Ah... The joys of boy-bonding. I wish I was there.

"I'm doing what I think is best for us. You gotta trust me on that." - Dan to Keesha and Michelle

"If you don't quit saying that." - Renny to Dan through clenched teeth

Dan's plan is in jeopardy. Memphis winning the veto was actually disastrous. He needed to keep the eviction nominations the same and control the vote, forcing a tie. Since only four House Guests vote this week the vote would've been split two to two, causing Dan to cast the deciding vote and sending out Jerry. Memphis using the veto means that Ollie would get to put up the new nominee. If Dan were going to honor the deal.

In one of the most brilliant moments in Big Brother history, Dan brings Keesha, Ollie and Renny separately into the HoH. He manipulates each of them into saying who they want to replace Memphis for eviction. He even forces Ollie into saying Renny, when he actually wants Keesha to go up.

"I just need the fireworks. That's all I need." - Dan

Jerry and Memphis are on the block. Memphis uses the PoV and has immunity. That means that Keesha, Ollie, Renny and Michelle are eligible for nomination. But remember, Ollie has a deal with Dan that states he gets to chose the replacement nominee if the PoV is used. Dan takes this moment to turn the Power of Veto ceremony into a diabolically gorgeous game show where each House Guest must say who they would like to see put on the block. If they don't answer, they will be put on the block themselves. Damn! Dan has balls. That is flat out, straight up the craziest, riskiest, most brilliant ploy in Big Brother history. The House Guests are stunned. Hell, the viewers are stunned.

In a brilliant move, Dan asks Michelle first who she wants nominated for eviction. Michelle's response? Keesha. Next up, Dan asks Ollie. Now here is where Ollie was stupid. And where Tom Hanks saying "stupid is as stupid does" pops into my head. Ollie, as he promised Dan earlier, says he wants Renny nominated. Ollie! Jesus! At this point it's obvious Dan is not honoring the deal.

Ollie could have challenged Dan and put it out there the in front of the entire house that Dan promised him immunity. Or he could have followed Michelle's lead and said Keesha. Or he should have seen that Michelle was going up and tossed her in front of the bus. Instead, he betrays Renny, who kept him safe the previous week by refusing to put him up, and tosses out her name for eviction. Renny tit for tat spits out Ollie's name and Keesha tit for tat spits out Michelle.

Crazy right? You could have heard a pin drop. And here's Jerry looking around, lost in space with Memphis grinning like a Cheshire cat. And Dan, in full-on Marlon Brando in the Godfather mode, tells Ollie he's a fool and nominates Michelle.

"In this case Ollie you lost the bet. Michelle go on the block." - Dan

Ollie got played and Michelle got back doored. And it was glorious. It was also Ollie's fault. Accepting this deal, setting this whole thing in motion was his first of many mistakes. Not to mention not staying on that damn vine and winning HoH. The only way to truly have power is to win HoH, not give it up. Once you throw the HoH all you can hope is that the deal you struck is honored. Ollie should have known better.

Alas the true victim in this brilliant, bloody war is Michelle. I hope she straightens her hair for the eviction episode. She looks pretty with her hair straight. I want her to look good when she meets Julie Chen.

I love Marcelles.
Hilarious

Marcellas cracks me up. But he said something I found to be a little delusional:

Marcellas wrote:

I had the power to save myself and didn't take it. I trusted the wrong people. And I paid for it with my shot at $500,000. I would have won Big Brother 3 had I made it to the end. The only person left who may have beat me was Jason. And I never would have allowed him to get to the end.

Marcellas is a little bit clueless. I doubt he would have beaten Lisa, but I guess we can let him dream. LMAO

I miss Marcellas. He wasn't stupid, just too trusting.