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|Subject: 'Survivor' Finale Recap: And Then There Were Five... Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:34 pm|| |
By Gordon Holmes
Mon, 15 Dec 2008 04:49:01 GMT
How did "Runaround" Bob Crowley become the oldest winner in "Survivor" history? Keep reading to find out...
• Runaround Bob – 57 – Physics Teacher
• Susie – 47 – Hairdresser
• Ken – 22 – “Super Smash Brothers” World Champion
• Matty – 29 – Personal Trainer
• Sugar – 29 – Retro Pin-Up Model (although she has a vast acting resume)
Back from tribal council and Kenny has seen his road to the final three go down the drain. Whether or not he can rebound will say a lot about his game. I still think he could win a final tribal council against Sugar, Susie, and maybe even Matty. He calls Bob out for not passing on the idol, Runaround puts him back in his place saying, “Why don’t you get your own idol?”
Sugar lets us know that she’d like to be in a final three with Bob and Matty, which is interesting because she can’t possibly win against them. Her best bet is to go to the final three with Benedict Arnold and Paris Hilton.
Immunity Challenge #1: The players will have to dig under a wall, then navigate a series of balance beams. From there, they have to untie knots to get to a maze. Inside the maze they’ll find huts with bags of puzzle pieces. They’ll have to take their bag and take it to their station. Then, they’ll have to go back and retrieve a second bag, and then a third. Once they have all three bags, they’ll put together a puzzle that resembles a Gabonese hut. First person to put together their puzzle will win immunity.
Oh, and they’re all dressed like drag queens. No reason was given for this development.
Sugar manages to get to the end with her pieces first, but Runaround Bob will not be denied. He tears through the puzzle to claim his fifth-straight challenge victory. Susie never got into the puzzle-making portion of the game. Sugar even says, “Where’s Susie?” Funny, I’ve been wondering that all season…
Back at camp, and it looks like Matty, Sugar, and Kenny will be voting for Susie. Matty convinces Kenny that he will tell him to his face if he intends on voting for him.
Later, Matty tells Sugar that the two of them should take Kenny to the final three. This is smart on Matty’s part as nobody can defeat Runaround in a final three situation.
Tribal Council #1: Marcus, Charlie, Randy, Randy’s mohawk, Corinne, and Crystal take their places on the uncomfortable jury benches.
During the discussion, Kenny calls Bob out for not handing over immunity at the last tribal council. Bob again puts Kenny in his place dropping the bomb that he knew Kenny was going to turn around and vote him out. Kenny does a weak job of talking his way out of it. The Shrekies in the jury are having a grand time watching Kenny try to dig himself out of his hole.
Voting Time: Susie votes for Kenny, Kenny votes for Susie, and the rest of the votes are seeeecret.
One vote Kenny, one vote Susie, one vote Kenny…the fourteenth person voted out of “Survivor: Gabon”, the sixth jury member, and someone who can finally eat is…Kenny.
The King of Smash is dead…long live the King of Smash.
Back at camp, and Susie and Matty are planning to take out Bob if Bob loses immunity. Again, smart. Nobody can beat Bob in the final council.
Tree mail arrives, and the final four are sent to Exile IsLagoon to pay tribute to the booted players. The final four gather all of the fallen players’ torches and say a few nice words about each player. The editors take this opportunity to replay Ace being smashed in the face with fruit. And with that, the editors win my vote for the million.
Once all the torches are gathered, the players are met at the top of a hill by a Gabonese tribal band. In a show of respect to the players (and disrespect to the top-notch “Survivor” art department) the torches were then burnt.
Immunity Challenge #2: The players will need to build a house of cards using 200 wooden tiles. The first person to build a house ten-feet tall or whoever has the tallest house at the end of thirty minutes wins. What, no endurance challenge? Boo!
Susie and Sugar get off to good starts, but their houses fall. Sugar build precariously again and her house topples again. Susie also loses a second house. Matty takes the solid-foundation approach and seems to have a strong house going. Bob can’t quite get his house going.
Susie smartly gains a lead and stops, knowing that Sugar’s wobbly house probably won’t stay up. Susie’s strategy pays off, guaranteeing her a place in the final three.
When we return to camp, everybody’s being open and honest about Bob being the next to go. Susie’s also being open and honest about how shocked she is about her winning the challenge. Susie and I agree on that.
We also learn that Susie talks too much. Really? Because I feel like I haven’t heard her say two words all season.
In other news, Sugar’s having difficulty voting Bob off as she sees him as a father figure. She’s actually considering forcing a tie. Bob smartly heads off to the forest to practice making fire in case there is a tie breaker.
Tribal Council #2: Jeff finally mentions that Bob has four BFFs on the jury. If the other three players haven’t realized that Bob’s unbeatable, then they haven’t been paying attention.
Sugar lets us know that she’d lose to anyone in the final three. Corinne nods her head. Nice to see those two finally agreeing on something.
Voting Time: Matty votes for Bob, Bob votes for Matty, and the rest of the votes are also seeeeeeecret.
One vote Bob, another vote Bob, one vote Matty, and the final vote is for…Matty! A tie! “Survivor” is the best show in the history of forever!
Jeff lets us know that the tie breaker will be fire making. Bob’s practicing pays off as his fire burns through the rope first. Bob’s a millionaire!
So, Matty is the fifteenth person voted out of “Survivor: Gabon” and the final jury member.
Fun Fact: If you went by my initial rating of “Survivor: Gabon,” the only one of the final three I could see going the whole way was Susie.
Back at camp, in a bizarre “Survivor” tradition, Bob, Susie, and Sugar set the camp on fire. And with that, they’re off to…
Final Tribal Council: Susie lets us know that she came out there just to try. Bob hopes they’ll be kind enough to throw a vote his way. Sugar claims to have played a perfect social game. Oops, looks like her and Corinne don’t agree anymore.
Jury Time: Charlie’s up first, he calls out Sugar and Susie for being voted worst and second worst. Susie says she expected to be underestimated. Sugar lets Charlie know that he doesn’t have to vote for her. That’s cool, I’m sure he doesn’t intend to. Then Charlie wants Bob to admit he enjoyed cuddling. Bob has no problem admitting that.
Crystal’s up next, she calls Susie a coattail rider. Crystal then claims Sugar played Bob like a fiddle. Bob agrees. Finally, Crystal wants to know why Sugar turned on her. Sugar admits that she didn’t like Crystal bullying people.
Kenny follows up and goes after Sugar for turning on him. Sugar promptly cries. Sugar then says that she saw Kenny as a bigger threat than Susie. Finally, Kenny wants to know why Bob didn’t give him the idol. Bob reiterated his point about knowing Kenny was going to turn on him. Kenny is displeased.
Corinne’s next to go as I get really comfortable. Corinne offers Susie her vote if she’ll get her vocal cords removed. Susie refuses. Corinne then asks Bob to say mean things about Sugar. Bob admits that he felt horrible for Sugar’s reaction to what she had him do to Randy. Finally, Corinne calls Sugar, “An unemployed, uneducated leech on society.” From there she says, “The only thing I would vote to give you is a handful of anti-depressants so that no one else has to be subjected to your constant crying anymore. So, maybe if you got some then it would seem a little more sincere when you’re crying about your dead father.” Corinne told me we could expect fireworks in our interview and she did not disappoint. Yikes, Corinne just made Sue Hawk look like Mr. Rogers.
Sugar responds with a single finger. I’ll leave it up to you to guess which one that was.
Marcus has the tough job of following that sure-to-be-legendary tirade. Marcus calls out Susie for not being a role model, he then asks Sugar how she’d use the million to honor her father. Susie said she’d donate to help prevent lung cancer.
Randy goes next. He’s extra nasty to Susie, even going so far as to define some of the big words he used. For Sugar, he wonders why she was so mean to him when she knew he was going to be on the jury. Sugar responds, “You were a jerk.” Randy asks Bob the same question, Bob claims that it wasn’t his intention to embarrass him.
Matty gets to finish it up. He wants to know something terrible that Sugar has done in the game. Sugar admits that she feels terrible for breaking Kenny’s heart. Matty then wants to know why Sugar and Susie would be more deserving of the money. Bob doesn’t think they are.
Wait, we’re voting now?! Where are the final speeches?!
Voting Time: Matty votes for Susie, Corinne votes for Bob, Randy lets the remaining three players know they can kiss a part of his anatomy, Kenny paces before voting, and the rest are seeeeeeeeeeeeeecret. I wonder if that means Sugar didn’t get a single vote.
Probst takes the votes and magically steps into present-day Los Angeles. First vote is for Bob, the second vote is for Susie, the third vote is for Susie, the fourth vote is for Susie, the fifth vote is for Bob, the sixth vote is for Bob, and the seventh vote and your million-dollar winner is…Runaround Bob!
Fun Things We Learned During the Reunion Special:
• Runaround Bob stole pieces off of the tribe flag to create his first fake immunity idol.
• If Matty had won the fire-making challenge, the jury would have voted for him to receive the million.
• Susie cleans up nicely. Susie also would have won the million if she hadn’t made a big deal over the Randy/Sugar cookie debacle.
• Sugar made a not-so-subtle dig about people who don’t have hearts.
• Corinne was booed by the studio audience and loved it. She did not apologize at all for her comments. She also did not intend to stab Susie in the face.
• People are either born with the ability to like Randy, or they aren’t.
• Marcus has the highest IQ of the eighteen players. The second highest? Randy.
• A professional gamer can bring in $50,000. I need to bust out my Atari 2600.
• Ace totally used my idea to use a fake American accent!
• Bob won the $100,000 award that’s voted on by the fans.
• The next “Survivor: Tocantins” will air in February.