Jeff Probst blogs 'Survivor: Gabon' (episode 10)

After tonight's episode ended, I called Doc Horowitz and said, "I gotta
get in to see you. I think something is wrong with me. I think I'm
losing my edge. Going soft. Can you run a test or something, see what's
what?"

He asked me for my symptoms.

I said, "I felt badly for Randy getting played at tribal council
like a banjo at a small town country fair. (Yes, I know, bad analogy
and small town and country fair are probably redundant.)

Recognizing the severity of my condition, he immediately cancelled
his morning appointments to squeeze me in. I'm waiting on the results.

In the meantime, I try to make sense of it all. Randy is a bitter
man with a ton of enemies, and he had this coming like a kid who sticks
a fork in a toaster. (Was that one any better?) He deserved what he got
like Survivor deserves an Emmy.

So why did I feel bad? Maybe there is just something about Randy
that I can relate to and sympathize with. Oh, he will hate me saying it
like that.

My friend Serena thinks the answer lies
with Sugar and the way she handled herself as I read the votes. "Not
cool." (I think she might be right. Serena is almost always right.)
That uncontrollable laugh that came from such a deep place inside Sugar
was so uncomfortable that I almost wanted to pull the votes out,
rearrange them, rewind the tape, and vote Sugar out. Ah, but that's
just me. Me and Serena that is...Me and Serena sitting in a tree,
k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

I will say this - it was brilliantly played from top to bottom, and
I do appreciate that level of execution. Bob deserves major credit. He
built an amazing fake idol, and he played both Corinne and Randy so
well. Didn't rush it, wasn't pushy. He was subtle. Subtle like the
feather of an eagle falling softly to the ground. (Worse?)

Corinne on the other hand is equally as mean as Randy but I don't
find myself rooting for her in any way. She is an original. I will give
her that. Not sure we've ever had anybody on the show quite like
Corinne. Corinne is as subtle as a thunderstorm. Subtle as the look I
give a Survivor when they want to quit. Subtle as, I know, a Probst
analogy.

Jerri Manthey can't hold a candle to Corinne. Jerri had some likable
qualities about her, Corinne has none. Just ask her. She'll tell you
the same thing.

By the way, (which is, by the way, one of the phrases that most
annoys me because everyone in Hollywood uses it as a way to alert you
they're about to say something brilliant) all this stuff about me being
attracted to Corinne really surprised me. Here's the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth. I felt like I had been beating up on
Corinne for so long that when I saw her smile on the last episode I
figured I'd say at least one nice thing.

Fittingly, Corinne probably hated that I said it in the first place.
But just so we are clear, I have no interest in dating Corinne. I do
not have the hots for Corinne. I don't think about Corinne. I like nice
women. Done. Enough already.

The Survivor Auction. Food wise, Randy was the clear winner
and provoked a wonderful 5th-grade argument with Sugar about a cookie,
and of course Sugar had to get the last word, and did when she took the
cookie and gave it to Matty. So there. Whatcha gonna do about it?
Serena likes Sugar but thinks she gets it wrong every single time at
tribal council.

I'm a little confused about the auction – it's the one point in the
show where we give the Survivors free money and then let them bid on
food items and the like. So...why was it so bitter?

Sugar hates Randy. Randy hates Sugar. Corinne hates Sugar. Sugar
hates Corinne. Thank god everybody likes Bob. At least there's one
person to root for.

I'll tell you this: If it keeps up it's going to be an amazing bloodbath toward the end.

I absolutely love watching Kenny get more and more cocky each week.
At the auction for instance, Matty is bidding on the burger and fries
and Kenny, who had the most money, shrugs his shoulders and says, "You
can have it." Like Tony Soprano, this kid. I can't wait for the
execution. I promise you if he keeps this attitude, it will happen and
he will not see it coming.

Okay, so to recap, which Serena loves for me to do...

I'm concerned about my soft spot for Randy, not interested in
Corinne, can't wait for Kenny to get his comeuppance, enjoyed the 5th
grade cookie argument, and love Bob.

Now to answer a few questions from last week:

Regarding a Final 3 vs. a Final 2: Our main concern is to make sure
we keep the show interesting, so we vary it from season to season as we
see fit. There are strong arguments on both sides, and I promise you
whichever side you take, I will take the other side and defeat you. I
love debate.

To Penny P – uh...the reason I started saying "FANG" instead of "FONG" is because the tribe changed their name. Pay attention.

Finally, regarding the "same lines" I say every week, such as: "Come
on in guys," "Wanna know what you're playing for?" "Immunity is back up
for grabs," etc....

1. Yes, I write everything I say. Blame me.
2. Yes, I'm aware I say them every time. That's the joke. Hello.

That's it. I'm done.

dammit...who the heck is this Serena chick Jeff is "k-i-s-s-i-n-g"????